The doomsayers have been discredited. Not only has prosperity emerged from around the corner, it arrived in style today as the Dow broke several historic records in heavy trading, ending the day at 20,145, almost 12,000 points over yesterday’s average in the popular stock index.
Experts from every school of economic theory and from all across the political spectrum agreed that the President’s trip to see the Queen of England about forging a global New, New Deal was the last straw against the reactionary forces of monetary foot dragging.
Another lucky break was the surprising news that global warming was also solved today by using reflective coal dust as aviation fuel to reflect the sun’s rays back into space. Petrocompany share values led the rally to today’s stunning stock market recovery. Real estate sale prices and employment figures also surged to record highs on the happy news.
Thanks to yesterday’s big science breakthrough in laser fusion energy production, it is no longer necessary to go “off-grid” or to worry our pretty little heads about “food security” or “preparedness” in general. Co-operation and brotherhood, not selfish autonomy, has proved to be the supreme virtue in this triumphant world of interdependent social enterprises.
We can depend once more upon our nation’s reliable industry to provide each and every citizen with the Four Freedoms guaranteed in the New Testament and the Constitution.
God Bless The Earth Union and Its Humble American Province.